Purple Man and The Source of Infinite Love

 I found myself floating through space. It was stormy. The wind was blowing very hard, and clouds were swirling all over. I felt lost. In hindsight I’m not sure how the wind was blowing in space, but there’s a lot about DMT visuals that don’t make much sense.

A purple-colored man quickly appeared before me. He looked strong, had long flowing black hair, and was holding some sort of spear or a staff. He had a very heroic presence. The way in which he appeared was like he was in a hurry, but he had to stop as soon as he saw me. He said to me “Come with me, I will show you the source of infinite love.” I waited for him to lead me somewhere or show me something. Nothing happened.

Suddenly I was pulled away from this vision. I was confronted by two clowns, a man and a woman. They looked like, for a lack of a better term, Juggalos. The room I was in looked like something from a Super Mario video game. The Juggalos took turns getting in my face, mocking me, and kept saying “You don’t get it!”

I kept trying to look past this vision, but they kept pulling me back. The Juggalos were leading me around the room. It was still Super Mario themed, but I got the sensation it was more like a museum.

Still mocking me at every chance they had, we were traveling around this room looking for a piece of art. It seemed like this museum was empty until finally we found something on display.

The art on display represented all of my mistakes.

Still mocking me and repeating “You don’t get it!”. They kept circling around the display making gestures and behaving as if the art was overvalued and not worthy of being on display.

At this point I could feel the trip begin to fade. As I was drifting away, the male Juggalo turned around to moon me, but then squished his ass right up against me and said, “See you next time, enjoy that”.

They laughed at me as the vision ended. 

I’m really intrigued by the Purple Man. The more I think about that interaction, the more I realize the infinite love I was to be shown was not an object or a physical thing to behold. Infinite love comes from within yourself. I think maybe it was a test, and I had failed as I waited to be shown love instead of understanding that it was within me. And the Juggalos were there for the tough love lesson with plenty of mockery. I feel like there could be more to interpret regarding my mistakes as an art display. My initial thoughts on that imagery are maybe that I project upon myself the guilt of my own mistakes, and through that guilt or fear of making mistakes, I’m subconsciously setting traps for myself and being caught in a repeating cycle.

If the fear of making a mistake is your only guide to life, all you will see is mistakes and potential for further mistakes.

What Does a DMT Trip Feel Like

I often find myself trying to explain to others what a DMT trip is like. When I catch myself mid-sentence, I feel like I sound like a crazy person. It seems impossible to put into words that would be even remotely accurate or fully encompass what is happening. But here’s my best attempt:

Let me begin by being blunt and saying DMT is not for the casual trip experience. DMT, in my opinion, is more of a sacred doorway. It must be used in the appropriate setting. If you’re looking for something to liven up the party, go somewhere else. Don’t get me wrong, it’s enjoyable for its own reasons, but it’s best experienced on a more wholesome level, in a quiet setting with very few people or distractions.

First you have to understand there is a physical experience and what I believe is a spiritual experience. They are separate, but also happening simultaneously. Depending on your method of smoke, vape, or whatever suits you best, you’re looking at a physical experience that is several minutes long and upwards to 20 or 30 minutes if you’re lucky. The length of spiritual experience is going to rely on you and how focused or distracted you are. Your ability to understand and interpret it is all on you, but it helps to have someone available to talk too and reflect with. Not all experiences are the same, and sometimes the message doesn’t hit you until days or weeks later when you have the ‘aha’ moment while doing something completely unrelated. Most of all, be honest with yourself.

The physical part of the experience, I feel, is the barrier which most new people can’t breach without a little practice or coaching. If you’ve used psychedelics in the past, try to imagine all the waves of emotion, energy, and euphoria that you might feel over the course of a few hours and then condense it down to about a minute. I have compared it to the sudden big downhill of a roller coaster, and the sensation of almost passing out. It’s almost like a bit of an ego check before you’re allowed to proceed further. This I assure you is a normal part of the process.

You will be at the cusp of an experience, one or two hits away, when you feel the body load start to set in. The scared ego voice in your head will start to walk you back from the commitment and you will start to think you’ve already done too much. The voice in your head is telling you to wait and see how it feels before taking more. You might think you have forgotten how to breathe. It comes on fast; one second you’re questioning if it’s even working, the next second it’s hitting you all at once. My advice at this point: The experience flows like a river- You can’t fight the current and swim against it, let the current take you. This is the moment to forget any hesitation you have, and while you’re still physically present, pick up the pen/pipe and get another hit or two in before it’s time to let go of this reality. Hopefully you have done your pre-trip preparations and have a nice place to lay back with no distractions, because in my opinion this is best experienced laying back with your eyes closed. Go completely internal and forget who you are for a few minutes. Open your mind to whatever visuals you might start to see in your mind’s eye. Typically, the vision starts with a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes. Just accept whatever you see and be curious enough to explore it and look further. This is where we start to get into the spiritual part of the experience.

I’ve noticed, at least for myself, the heavy body load that comes with the onset of the experience seems to coincide with the movement of the kaleidoscope patterns. When the kaleidoscope slows or transforms into what I would consider the actual (spiritual) experience, the body load seems to subside and it’s a little easier (mentally) to focus on what I’m seeing and communicate with it. At first, it may seem too overwhelming for most people to slow their mind down or even try to communicate with the experience. It’s very easy to just lay back and enjoy the show, but I find it to be a deeper, more rewarding experience to engage with what I’m seeing. Your thoughts and energy have a lot of influence on what is presented to you, and it might surprise you and communicate back to you or show you something.

As for the spiritual part of the experience, it is probably all up to interpretation, but bring no expectations for what you want to see. As a disclaimer, I will say it is only what you allow it to be, and don’t let yourself get too carried away with your newfound spiritualism. This is where the healing and internal work is done. You may or may not experience something that goes straight to the core of who you really are. You might only see some fun colors but come out of it with a newfound perspective on your childhood, old relationship, or a broader outlook on life and existence. You might also see or experience nothing (or claim to have experienced nothing), and this is when I would start to reflect and question your intentions. That said, every one of my own experiences has been different from the next, except for a few reoccurring themes. I find it very interesting when hearing of other peoples experiences compared to my own, there are a lot of parallels with not just other people, but with religious symbolism and even near death experiences. (not to be confused with what is commonly referred to as ‘near death experience’ in regard to the psychedelic ‘ego death’). To sum up my own experiences, I’ve encountered and communicated with multiple intelligent beings that seem or feel to be separate from my own consciousness. Many of them resemble those of eastern religious deities, namely Buddhism and Hinduism, with the occasional white-guy Jesus. The vision is usually a message of love or self-improvement, and I’m always so intrigued that they seem to know me better than I do. But there are also those that are referred to as jesters or elves. These guys are pranksters, jokers, and usually have a message too but it is more tough love and humor. For myself, I try not to get too caught up in the potential religious connection. I prefer to just take the lesson or message and move forward with that. Because for all I know, I’m only dealing with my own deep subconscious mind, and not some other entity from a different dimension.  

Phoenix Garden

We were taking a drive to show my cousin my secret camp spot by the river. We both came prepared to “blast off” but I wasn’t sure yet if I wanted to. I have camped here with my own family many times, so when we arrived all the memories came back much more clear. With that in mind I decided it was as good a time as any to blast off.

We hadn’t brought the hammocks or chairs, so we stayed in the vehicle with all the doors and windows down to get some fresh air and the sounds of nature. I’m sure we looked like a couple of tweakers to anybody else.

I began to take my hits, and at some point as I was in the space between here and full trip, the trees took on a personality again. It felt like they were all looking at me. It felt like they were asking why I was in this metal box and not sitting at their feet. In hindsight, that’s where I should have been. The trees were right.

As the visuals began and I closed my eyes, the first thing I saw was a giant bird coming down at me. It was a phoenix but with the face of a woman. She told me not to be afraid, that she was here to take me and guide me through the experience. I don’t remember the ride, but I was dropped off at a giant garden. The first thing I noticed was everybody and everything there was singing the same song. The gardener, the plants, the animals around us all had the same eyes and were all singing. To me it sounded like buzzing, almost electric, but I recognized it as a song.

The gardener was a giant woman. That is to say I was no taller than the plants she was tending to. She paid me no attention, she was busy doing her work. I began to realize that I was no different than the plants. Each one, like myself, was a separate consciousness.

I love how the imagery played out for me. The phoenix, who represents death and rebirth, takes me to a garden where the young plants are conscious and all from the same source. I also recognized the phoenix with the head of a woman as a mother figure.