The following is a record of my psychedelic journey, and lessons learned. If you want to read about my journey in the order in which I experienced it, please scroll down to the first post. While psychedelic “drugs” are often stigmatized, and misused for recreational purposes, I strongly believe in their therapeutic use. The potential exists for a significantly positive emotional and spiritual awakening, and likewise a frightening or damaging experience if used recklessly. Psychedelics should be approached with respect, caution, and good intentions. When used in the proper setting it can be a very rewarding experience. As with any other form of therapy, the real work must be undertaken by the individual. As such, a substance like DMT might only show you a path to take or a way to reflect on what is happening in your life – It is the individual’s choice to interpret and act upon the thoughts, feelings, and images they are presented with. The big question about what a DMT experience is cannot simply be put into words, let alone a few sentences. My own ‘trip’ is a real experience that I witnessed personally. But I’m often questioning what it is exactly that I am communicating with. Is it my own subconscious that is wiser than my outward self? Is there an intelligent energy in our world that people have forgotten how to have a relationship with? I don’t know. What I do know is it requires an open, willing, and flexible mind, and a willingness to accept what you are presented with without pulling away, but instead have the curiosity to keep asking and looking further into the trip. Disclaimer: I am not a professional, nor a doctor, nor a therapist of any kind. I do not distribute or administer any substance to anyone but myself. These are my own personal experiences.

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Just Look Up

 July 5

It was a quiet morning. I had the house to myself. I haven’t been meditating much lately so I was taking advantage of the moment while I had no distractions. I was having a difficult time clearing my head and feeling settled. Thoughts of my previous DMT experience were still gnawing at me. The emotions I felt afterward had all but passed, but I still felt unsettled and have been wanting to ‘visit’ again to get some sort of closure.

After about 15 minutes of half-assed meditation due to my brain not shutting off, I decided to go for it. The only thing I had in my stomach at that point was a cup of coffee from a couple hours ago, and I was paying for it. As soon as the sensation had started to set in, my stomach was in a knot, and I thought I might puke. At this point the visuals had already begun, and there were multiple faces looking at me wondering what poison was making me feel sick. (In hindsight it could have had some relation to an issue in my solar plexus chakra which was pointed out to me during a Reiki session I had that afternoon. Reiki is a new experience for me and I’m just experimenting with it to see how I could benefit from it, but it has been helping me determine how to focus on my journeys and my meditation.)

The next image I was faced with was a woman in a long robe. She was standing at some sort of machine that she was operating, and a bit surprised to see me there. I was directed to observe a man digging in a tunnel. What I was seeing was like a cross section of the earth- like an ant farm. The man, whom I was told was me, looked like he had been endlessly digging. He was muddy and tired. The woman in the robe appeared and said he was wasting his time. “Just look up” she kept saying repeatedly.

I made a conscious effort to steer this digging-man upward. He began tunneling towards the surface. Still seeing a cross section of the earth, I could see him nearing a beautiful green sun filled pasture. As he broke through to the surface, he became a tree that grew large and strong, and brought shade to the hot grass.

That’s when the vision began to fade away. I begged them not to let me leave too soon. I asked them to tell me more, as I did not want anymore riddles. The image I was presented with was an oval, the shape of an open eye. But instead of an eyeball, it was a transparent human body that was surrounded by a glowing light that was pure white in the center and radiated out all colors of the rainbow. The eyelids started to close as a reminder my experience was ending. The entities I had met were inside this body, which was inside the eye. They told me “Everything is within you. Don’t forget to look up”.

Everything is within you. Don’t forget to look up.

I thought I asked for no more riddles. There are so many ways to interpret this, I don’t really know where to start. The digging man growing into a tree I feel like is symbolic of my search for purpose. Maybe I’m so distracted by the search itself I might miss my opportunity to grow. Becoming a big strong tree and shading the meadow from the hot sun I think is myself setting down roots and offering shelter for my loved ones. Maybe everything I need for this next phase in life is already within me, I just need to trust and believe in myself.

Just look up? I’m not sure about that one yet. I don’t know if this is supposed to be a metaphor. Maybe I need to just pause for a moment. Look up from my work and just appreciate.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)