The following is a record of my psychedelic journey, and lessons learned. If you want to read about my journey in the order in which I experienced it, please scroll down to the first post. While psychedelic “drugs” are often stigmatized, and misused for recreational purposes, I strongly believe in their therapeutic use. The potential exists for a significantly positive emotional and spiritual awakening, and likewise a frightening or damaging experience if used recklessly. Psychedelics should be approached with respect, caution, and good intentions. When used in the proper setting it can be a very rewarding experience. As with any other form of therapy, the real work must be undertaken by the individual. As such, a substance like DMT might only show you a path to take or a way to reflect on what is happening in your life – It is the individual’s choice to interpret and act upon the thoughts, feelings, and images they are presented with. The big question about what a DMT experience is cannot simply be put into words, let alone a few sentences. My own ‘trip’ is a real experience that I witnessed personally. But I’m often questioning what it is exactly that I am communicating with. Is it my own subconscious that is wiser than my outward self? Is there an intelligent energy in our world that people have forgotten how to have a relationship with? I don’t know. What I do know is it requires an open, willing, and flexible mind, and a willingness to accept what you are presented with without pulling away, but instead have the curiosity to keep asking and looking further into the trip. Disclaimer: I am not a professional, nor a doctor, nor a therapist of any kind. I do not distribute or administer any substance to anyone but myself. These are my own personal experiences.

Saturday, June 3, 2023

Ancestors

May 11.

It has been more than a few years since I last made a serious attempt to pick up a pencil and start drawing again. I’ve been feeling more inspired recently and am trying to rekindle those skills. I have been wanting to draw a DMT inspired picture, something that encompasses my whole experience up to this point. The colors and designs are so complicated and always moving it’s really difficult to settle on one thing for inspiration; Let alone the profound characters and messages I’ve faced.

So obviously I found an excuse for another session. My original intention was to just take a single drag or two just to get the creative juices flowing, but once I started in it felt wrong to stop short. Three or four puffs later and my mind starts to drift, so I lay back and close my eyes. The initial kaleidoscope of colors slowed down enough for me to realize I was looking at my own face. There were multiples of myself, still in kaleidoscope pattern except no longer spinning. I was really amazed at the clarity and detail, and it made me smile- The weird part is that I was watching myself smile. I can still remember seeing my own smile lines and watching my beard move. At that point each one of my faces that occupied a section of the kaleidoscope began to change, and they were all different faces but somehow familiar. The feeling came over me that I was looking at my ancestors, or rather they were looking at me. They all seemed happy to see me. Unfortunately, none of them communicated directly with me but they were lively, and it was a very positive interaction. The ancestors faces drifted away and there was a lady (I’m just naming her DMT lady). She, much like the Golden Tara vision before, was very insistent that I follow her and unhappy to hear that I was leaving again so soon.  ‘DMT Lady’ eventually accepted that my time there was temporary, so she wanted to show me something before I left. In her hand was a tiny little solar system. At that moment my trip began to fade away, and one of my ancestors’ faces appeared. In a goofy, comical way, he just wanted to say, “See you next time buddy!”. And then the trip ended like a curtain closing.

 I’m not sure how to interpret the DMT Lady or the solar system in her hand. My first impression was that she was Golden Tara, but she wasn’t ‘golden’ and was a more interactive visual. She had a personality and feelings.

My impression from the ancestors was just that maybe they see me and are recognizing I’m doing a good job. I had recently been very stressed about a potential career change and decided to pass on the offer so as not to upset the family dynamic. I feel like I was being reassured that my priorities were correct. While I’m not 100% satisfied with my current career, I’m content with the fact that we’re all together and we’re happy here- I won’t stress the rest.

I went into this trip wanting artistic inspiration. I didn’t get it. Just another reminder that whatever vision or message you receive is not on your terms. 

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